


Because it’s fucking Christmas, you asshole.

by Koelik



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Boyfriends, Christmas Presents, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-18
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-10-11 22:56:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17455853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Koelik/pseuds/Koelik
Summary: First Christmas as official boyfriends – Modern AU.





	Because it’s fucking Christmas, you asshole.

"Okay, so why the hell are you being a pain in the ass, dude?" Tucker asks eating his ramen noisily, Caboose looks at him and raises his thumb to clean Tucker's chin. "Hey, idiot, don’t touch me," he growls blushing, then he glances over his shoulder to see at Grif, who is at the other side of cafeteria, eating one of his two burgers.

"Relax, dipshit, Grif is stuffing his face, right now he has no eyes for anyone other than that pair of burgers," Church responds, rolling his eyes. Tucker looks at him with a deadpan expression.

"Are you going to tell us or not what has you so irritated?"

"I don’t know what I'm going to give to Simmons, you know, for Christmas," he snaps, running his hand through his black strands, his lime green eyes traveling around the cafeteria until he meets a pair of emerald green eyes. His boyfriend, for 10 months now, smiles at him, Church does it back, they look at each other for a few seconds before Donut steals the redhead's attention back to his table. Church sighs.

Even now, there are times when he still can’t understand how he and Simmons ended together. He know that their first meeting was only fueled by hours of unsuccessful work, of Church's sharp attacks and Simmons's sarcastic responses, which somehow managed to turn them on enough to forget about the job and Simmons to bend him over the desk and fuck him senseless.

But, from there to start going out, holding hands, and then kissing softly or curling up while the taller man whispers sweet things to him after fucking?, He still had trouble assimilating it. That’s to say, their relationship is great, honestly, the redhead is a constant support for him, he also takes care of him, pampers him and he is so fucking cute, the black-haired man don’t understand how Simmons is able to call him by pet names without making him feel ridiculous, Church has even I begun calling him: baby or love or bear, and he doesn’t feel stupid! Is that totally weird or not? All mentioned, without counting sex, because, duuude, the sex is goddamn awesome.

"... fucking asshole," he blinks when he notices that he has been lost in his thoughts, his eyes glued to his boyfriend who is arguing with Grif while Donut laughs. His attention returns to his friend.

"What?"

"Why the fuck do you ask us for advice if you are going to go to Wonderland while you look at your nerdy boyfriend with that idiotic expression?"

"I didn’t ask you for advice, Tucker," he answers.

"You can give him a puppy," Caboose says cheerfully, Church frowns, because no, he wouldn’t give a dog to his fussy cleaning boyfriend, that would be so fun for Church to watch, but at the end of the day both the dog and Simmons would need therapy.

"Nah, it's not happening,"

"Give him a threesome, I bet the nerd would like to sleep with someone else besides you," he shrugs “You know, since he was a virgin before you,”

"Oh, don’t say, Tucker, who could it be?" He asks, his voice full of sarcasm. Tucker smirks.

"Sorry, my chocolate bar is only for that Hawaiian bastard," he says with his thumb to Grif "I mean, I can understand that you want to try more men too. Seriously, dude, do Simmons even know how to fuck?" He chuckles wickedly “Do he know how to move those two inches of manhood he has?"

Church rolls his eyes with a growing smirk. "Listen, Tucker, in bed, my boyfriend is more than enough for me, and I'm pretty sure I am for him," he snorts, "and I'm pretty sure you couldn’t take his _two inches_ ,"

"I don’t understand, two inches of what?" Caboose asks, looking from one to the other. The two men look at the tallest boy and shake their heads.

"So, sex is not a good gift?" Tucker asks.

"No, because, of course we’ll have sex, I need something more,"

 

* * *

 

"Could you remind me how we agreed to have everyone come to dinner here?" Church asks, buttoning his cobalt shirt, he looks over his shoulder to see Simmons combing his hair, using only a towel on his waist, "I know I just made a rhetorical question, but you could at least look at me while you don’t answer,"

Simmons turns his head to look at him with a cute smile on his lips, then he approaches him and Church puts a hand on the toned chest of his boyfriend. "Stop right there, you're wet and my shirt is freshly ironed so you're not going to wrinkle it by hugging me or..." he cuts off when he hears Simmons chuckle, then realizes what he said, he can’t stop the easy smile growing on his lips "What the fuck have you done to me?, I sound the same as you," he laughs, Simmons takes the hand in his chest and leans over him, kissing his lips without touching his shirt, Church kisses back and gives a soft nudge to his boyfriend.

"Why are you so nervous, love?" He finally asks. Moving away a couple of steps and taking off the towel, Church gives a good look at his boyfriend's body, Simmons dries the remain moisture of his body and puts on a pair of  tight cobalt boxer, Church smiles and sighs.

"It's... just, I had planned this night for ourselves," he whispers, Simmons looks at him, "I wanted us to give ourselves the gifts, just us,"

"I understand," Simmons responds, "I'll tell you what, we'll wait after dinner and then when everyone leaves, we can do the gift thing," he puts on his black pants and buckles them.

"Sounds good," he says taking the comb from the dressing table and starting to run it through his hair "Hey, listen, did you put the gifts of Tucker and Doc under the tree?"

"Of course, all the gifts are there," he answers, taking his black shirt and putting it on.

"Did we really had to buy everyone a gift?"

"It would be rude of you to just give Caboose something," he replies, puts on his socks and shoes.

"Caboose is like a child, he must have a stupid Christmas present,"

"That doesn’t makes less rude if you don’t give nothing to Tucker and well, Doc," he takes his maroon tie, "with or without tie?" He asks, showing it.

"That color looks really good on you," he nods taking the tie, then he put it on Simmons and begin to tie it. "With tie," he whispers tying it.

"There's something else bothering you, isn’t it?" Simmons asks, his fingers lifting Church's face gently, green eyes watching him.

"No," he lies ", come on, it's not long before Donut brings the food,"

"You need to put on your shoes first, babe," he says, giving chaste kiss.

"Should I wear a tie or not?" He asks, sitting on the bed and putting on his shoes.

"Black pants, cobalt shirt and black tie?" Simmons hums, fastening his shirt cuffs. "You'll look like a clerk,"

"Is that a bad thing?" He asks looking at himself in the mirror, tie in hand.

"A sexy clerk," he adds perfuming himself, then he reaches his boyfriend and makes him raise his head to perfume him too.

"Don’t clerks wear white shirts?" He asks, letting Simmons perfume him.

Simmons shrugs and smiles. Church leaves his tie on the dresser, unbuttons two buttons of his shirt and rolls up his sleeves. He raises an eyebrow looking at Simmons, the redhead smirks and winks at him.

"Hot." He says before leaving the room.

 

* * *

 

"Donut, I have to admit that the dinner was amazing," Sarge says, drinking from his wine glass.

"Aww thank you Sarge, it has my special touch," he winks, then he claps once and smiles "But I think it's time for presents," he shrieks.

"Yeiiiii, presents!" Caboose shouts.

"Hey, and what about the dessert?" Grif asks crossing his arms.

"It was the chocolate cake dipped in cherry liqueur," Donut replies, frowning.

"I barely tried it," the Hawaiian complains, Tucker snorts.

"You ate three slices, and you took half of mine, fatty," he replies.

"Stop talking and pick up that lazy ass, numbnuts" Sarge growls.

 

* * *

 

The delivery of gifts was quick, apparently everyone is just as stingy as they, everyone gave gifts in couples, even Caboose and Sarge formed an alliance to give gifts.

"Well, it looks like it's time for someone to do the Christmas toast," Donut hums.

"No, there are those two gifts under the tree yet," Doc says, "whose are those?"

Simmons put his arm around Church's waist, the dark haired man looks at him and leans a little on him.

"Those are ours," he responds, squeezing his glass of wine softly, feeling his hands sweaty.

"Oh, well, give them up now to move on to the toast," the two pairs of green eyes look at Donut. "What?"

"Those gifts are... personal," Simmons replies.

"Oh come on, don’t be ridiculous, we've all been friends for more than 10 years now, we were there during your awkwardness and uncomfortableness after you guys fucked for the first time..." Tucker recalls.

"Uff you don’t say it," Buff Grif ", we were also witnesses in how insecure and nervous the two of you were on their first date,"

"You called me at 2 in the morning to tell me about your first kiss," Donut says, pointing to Simmons, the redhead blushes, burying his face in Church's black hair.

"Just open the goddamn gifts," Sarge growls.

"Fiiine," Simmons sighs, letting go of his boyfriend and walking towards the tree.

Church swallows glancing at the room full with his friends, then his eyes fall on his boyfriend, who is now walking towards him with a small box in his hands, wrapped in brilliant cobalt blue paper and with a brown ribbon adorning it.

"Well," he says when he comes to the black-haired man, their eyes meet and their cheeks are a little pink, "I really hope you like this, I incised it myself," Simmons hands him the gift, Church leaves his wine cup on the coffee table and rub his sweaty hands on his pants, take the gift smiling nervously to his boyfriend ", love, Merry Christmas," he smiles back taking Church’s cheeks and kisses him chastely, keeping his lips together a few seconds.

"Aww," Doc, Caboose and Donut chant. Church looks down at the gift and opens it carefully. He finds a black leather case with a gold lock, he opens the cap.

His eyes get bigger when he sees what is inside, his astonished gaze falls on his boyfriend, who looks him waiting for his reaction.

"You..." Church whispers "Oh God," he gasps smiling, carefully taking the shiny piece, "I can’t believe you did this, this, this is..." his gaze varies between the gift and Simmons.

"You like it?"

"What is it?" Donut asks approaching. "Oh, wow," he looks at the bracelet with a oval piece made of white gold, a draw on it. "How nice, what is it?"

"It's my family's blazon," he replies stroking the design engraved on the gold.

"Oh, wow," Donut looks at Simmons, "Is it made of solid gold?" The redhead nods, "This must have cost you a fortune," Church looks at him.

"How much did it cost?"

"That's none of your business," he replies, Church rolls his eyes with a smile. "Let me help you put it on," he says taking the piece and securing the leather straps on Church's pale wrist.

"I can’t believe you did this," he whispers, rising on his toes to kiss the taller man "Thank you, it means a lot," he chuckles against his lips, "… of course you already know that,"

"Yes, I know," he answers presumptuously.

"Prick," he huffs without erasing the smile, however the joy leaves his face when he realizes that he’ll have to give Simmons his present in front of everyone.

"What's wrong?" He asks raising an eyebrow.

"Uhm…" shit, shit, shit, what is he going to do now? Simmons had just gave him something beautiful, personal and something that he had worked on, he just couldn’t just give him something so damn simple.

If before all this he was nervous about his gift, since he didn’t know if it was too soon, if it was kinda stupid, or maybe it was something that didn’t need such a big fuss to be done...

"Ok, we've lost Church," Tucker murmurs, the black haired man looks at him. "What the fuck, man?" He asks, Grif at his side is just looking at him with an eyebrow raised, his eyes now fall on his boyfriend, Simmons has the same gesture as the Hawaiian, he wonders if Grif and Simmons realize how similar their gestures are. He shakes his head, it’s not the time for stupid wonders.

He sighs and walks towards the tree, takes the tiny box, he sighs again and approaches his boyfriend.

"Listen, maybe this is stupid..." he starts, but is cut off by Simmons' chuckle.

"I'm sure it’s not,"

"Okay, take it," he whispers, handing him the present.

The redhead opens it, a small maroon box is there, and he raises his eyes to connect with Church while he opens it. The room is silent. When Simmons' eyes return to focus on him, they are accompanied by a nice glow.

"A key?" He asks.

"A key?" All the others ask. Church looks at them, again wishing that he and Simmons were alone.

"It's the key to my apartment," he says with a glance at the place, then he clears his throat "Do you want to live with me?" He asks.

"Oh, wow," Simmons whispers smiling.

"It's… maybe I'm doing this as it were such a big deal, maybe it's something stupid that doesn’t require..." Simmons again cuts him off, now taking his cold hands and looking at him fondly, giving him confidence, Church nods and licks his lips "I love you, I really I do, a lot, and I want to be with you like all the time, and I couldn’t think of anything good enough to give you, and this... is from the heart," he says, again the room is filled with the voices of Donut, Doc and Caboose.

"You're being so sappy, you're freaking me out," Simmons says mockingly admiring the bright key.

"It's just because it's Christmas, you asshole, don’t get used to it," he huffs, the redhead looks at him again, and both grow smiles at the same time, Simmons leans to leave a kiss on the his forehead, Church takes his neck and pulls him to kiss him, a kiss that grows rapidly of intensity, leaving teeth and tongues play.

"Okaaaaaay, time to go," Tucker snaps, "We really don’t want to be present in your time of looove,"

"Owww, they're so cute," Donut shrieks.

"They're so gay," Sarge snorts, "Congratulations," he says before patting their backs and heading to the exit.

Soon all the boys retire, leaving Simmons and Church cleaning _their_ house, both complaining about their lazy and inconsiderate friends. When they finish, both pour more wine in their cups and then they lie down in the sofa, Church's back resting on Simmons' chest.

Now they both are watching a silly Christmas movie.

"Really?" Church snorts without taking his eyes away of the screen "She falls off the horse and he's right there to catch her?" He rolls his eyes "Oh wow, how fucking original, how fucking realistic,"

Simmons muffles his laugh by kissing the black hair, it’s easy for him to see himself in this situation in the future, he and Church huddled in the sofa, watching movies, bitching about them, drinking wine or coffee, laughing together, talking... he sighs and leaves his glass in the coffee table, he hugs tightly his boy with both arms.

"I love you, babe," he whispers, squeezing the hug, Church leans against him a little more and look him over his shoulder, smiling.

"I love you too, baby," he turns a little so that he can kiss him softly. "Merry Christmas, Richard,"

"Merry Christmas, Leonard,"

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed the reading.   
> I just wanted to write some fluff and this came to me.
> 
> **English is not my native language, if you see any mistake, please tell me.
> 
> Lots of loove.


End file.
